f r a n c e s c a d a r l i n g

2011-07-09T21:47:00.000-07:00

if you're going to pretend to be intellectual on the internet, you might want to fix the following mistakes:

YOU'RE/YOUR
THEIR/THEY'RE/THERE
Y'ALL not YA'LL

thanks, bye.

Land Of The Free & Home Of The Babes

2011-07-06T14:41:00.000-07:00

Summer is magic. Here is a sneak peak of what summer has consisted of so far:
Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, space cakes, tan lines, friends, beers, sprinklers, sparklers, ice cream cones, fireworks, photo booth pictures, punk rock shows, fake beaches, real beaches, pizza, vintage cars, rooftops, love, kisses, long days and longer nights

As a sidenote, all of my friends are extremely & exceptionally good looking.

Video and editing by me, more to come soon.

xo

where the days are short and the nights are long

2011-06-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

The lack of updates can be blamed on the beautiful weather NYC has been graced with these past few weeks. I've been spending my days gym-ing, BBQing, tanning, and packing up my boyfriend's 1974 Ford LTD and hightailing it to Rock Rock Rockaway Beach.

Got my base tan & my boo. I'm already ahead of the summer game!

xoxo

guide us in the pursuit of the spirit world

2011-05-17T12:39:00.001-07:00

We can all agree that there is a timeless organic mysticism linked to mid-1960's hippie regalia. Feathers, crystals, dream catchers, etc. all capture the essence of that time; a period of hope, love, and social revolution. I'm all about incorporating that into everyday outfits, however this new fangled craze of feather hair extensions needs to fucking stop. How is this not the creepiest thing you've ever seen in your life? It's one thing to braid a piece of suede into your hair, incorporating beads, flowers, feathers, etc .. that is totally fine and cute. But it needs to end there. Examples:

yes

NO.

Do you see the distinction?

all images found on google.com

disco pants means its Friday

2011-05-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

photo from Friday's dance party DJing with Catherine. Our monthly residency at K&M (in Williamsburg) is always super fun, so you should probably come to the next one on June 10th if you want to hear more awesome songs like this one:

xo.

rainy day vibes

2011-05-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

a.k.a. perfection.

"she was the still point of the turning world, man"

2011-05-16T07:21:00.000-07:00

I want to live my life through a Sofia Coppola color filter.

"We felt the imprisonment of being a girl, the way it made your mind active and dreamy, and how you ended up knowing which colors went together. We knew that the girls were our twins, that we all existed in space like animals with identical skins, and that they knew everything about us though we couldn’t fathom them at all. We knew, finally, that the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them."
- The Virgin Suicides

2011-05-14T11:51:00.001-07:00

So after a long hiatus, I decided to resurrect this blog that I totally forgot existed for two reasons:

1.) My previous posts were hilarious
2.) I miss writing out my scattered thoughts

I do have a tumblr for visual inspirations, music, etc. but I view that as more of an electronic "mood board" than a blog.

So here we are, back from the dead.

I'll leave you with this rad lilliput song:

xo.

cropped sweaters + black lipstick

2009-12-27T13:11:00.000-08:00

Knee Socks!

2009-12-26T06:20:00.000-08:00

There's something fundamentally wrong with you if you can't jive with '60s uptempo/doo-wop. I came across this little gem while making a compilation mix for a friend last night. How freaking CUTE?

The Ideals - Knee Socks

Enjoy.
xx

play on words.

2009-12-24T07:13:00.000-08:00

you're my sugar dandy

2009-12-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

A LITTLE CHRISTMAS ALL UP IN YA

2009-12-13T09:52:00.000-08:00

!

2009-12-09T19:04:00.001-08:00

easy like sunday morning

2009-12-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

this is what I did today pt 2.

2009-12-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

So Good.

2009-11-25T08:01:00.001-08:00

Despite being about a month and a half late in discovering the Raveonettes' new album, I think I've listened to it (on repeat) enough times to compensate for the lost time. Needless to say, I am fucking obsessed. The Raveonettes, who's name is a direct combination of The Ronnettes & Buddy Holly's "Rave On!", are an extremely underrated rock & roll duo from Denmark that I have been in love with since I first heard "That Great Love Sound" in 2003 (off of the album Chain Gang of Love i.e. the inspiration for my blog name IAMSOGAY). I know I'm not reinventing the wheel here, but they are everything I could ever want in a band. With musical influences such as The Velvet Underground, The Everly Brothers, and The Ramones, their sound mimics the structural simplicity of classic '50s & '60s beats and adds a modern electric twist. Check out their new album In and Out of Control because it is completely amazing and probably one of the best albums I've heard all year.

♪MP3: Bang! The Raveonettes
♪MP3: Gone Forever The Raveonettes
♪MP3: Last Dance The Raveonettes

2009-10-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloweave

2009-10-27T21:18:00.000-07:00

!!!!

Thats my obnoxious voice behind the camera, my apologies.

2009-10-27T20:27:00.000-07:00

Happiness is...

2009-10-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

this is what I did today

2009-10-25T16:47:00.000-07:00

A trampoline + disco pants + Tommy Roe's greatest hits is enough entertainment for me.

ALSO: please follow Megan & my new blog! Lots of updates soon soon soon!

http://bellesandrebelles.blogspot.com/

xx

2009-10-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

Just a little early '80s British post-punk to spice up your Tuesday night. This instantly just sucked me back to my Freshman year of college. MEMZZZZ! Enjoy. x

♪MP3: Testament The Wake
♪MP3: On Our Honeymoon The Wake

Everything Nice

2009-10-03T06:53:00.000-07:00

Nico was a vegetarian! She was also a heroin addict and a total slut, but we love her anyway.

♪MP3:I'll Be Your Mirror The Velvet Underground
♪MP3:I'm Not Saying Nico
♪MP3:Don't Believe Vashti Bunyan

Sleazy Listening

2009-09-30T06:41:00.000-07:00

So, shocker, I'm sick again and this time with some mysterious chest cold/half-assed sore throat. I also have a temperature of 96.5? Is that normal? Probably not. I've been spending the day at home drifting in and out of sick sleep, drinking my weight in tea, and fixing myself a musical cocktail with some of my happy/sad/mellow FAVES that are like the song equivalent of EMERGEN-C packets: just a rush of instant good vibes. Here we go:

♪MP3:Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying Belle & Sebastian
♪MP3:Beanbag Chair Yo La Tengo
♪MP3:There Goes The Fear Doves
♪MP3:59th Street Bridge Song [Feelin' Groovy] Simon & Garfunkel

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

With that, I will resume my rightful place on my deathbed. Please send flowers, movies, and drugs. Or just well wishes to feel good enough to go out tonight.

2009-09-24T07:13:00.000-07:00

HAHHAA GENIUS!

"This gem scooped me up at the local bookstore, wooing me with his nerdy charm. We ended up dating for 8 months, during which he would routinely try to convince me to dye my hair red, wear more eyeliner, and tape me going down on his girl friends. When I thought I was pregnant, he told me he couldn’t help pay for an abortion because he had to buy a new web cam for art schoo, a good 7 months away. When I finally dumped him, he cried and locked me in his basement. I ended up crawling out the window, walking home and never speaking to him again. I later heard he dropped out of his beloved art school after 3 weeks and still lives in his parents basement, reeking of white castle."

http://sorry-mom.com/

what summer should have been like

2009-09-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was spent around Brooklyn galavanting with catherine in the beautiful weather. I always feel like such a tourist whenever I bring a camera out, but I've grown up here my whole life and New York still fucking enchants me.

ALSO tio loco, these iz for you:

2009-07-24T17:06:00.001-07:00

My uncle is my absolute favorite person on the planet, hands down.

That is all.

lights out baby it looks like the end for me

2009-07-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

"Commin' Home" by Cheeseburger has been the hardest fucking song on earth to track down. I first heard it when I accidentally watched an episode of Superjail and was disturbed out of my G-D mind (I love dark humor but that shit totally hits below the belt). NAYWAYZ, moving on, I loved the honky 10cc "Rubber Bullets"-esque sound and have been looking for it on itunes/amazon/mininova for, like, almost a year until I finally got the hookup from the band's basist (we met him on the 4th of July* and he was rad) soooo here we go

♪MP3: Commin' Home- Cheeseburger

enjoy!

*The 4th of July was a complete shit show. Sarina, Catherine, Amanda, Josh, Ryan, Caroline, and I went to a block party on the sketchiest block in Williamsburg where there were serious "underground skate ramp/arcade from the beginning of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie" vibes. An hour or so into it we got cold and went home. AMERICA FUCK YEAH!

2009-06-29T06:51:00.001-07:00

Thank you, Nate, for getting me completely fucking obsessed with this song:

2009-06-17T15:18:00.000-07:00

I'm in somewhat of an emo mood today (read: mopey) and I need to fucking snap out of it. I've come to the conclusion that I'm the perfect combination of romantically hopeful and intractably bitter.
Example:

Things like this make me wanna cry and dry heave simultaneously.

Ughh.

MOVING ON...

this was playing today at that adorable ice cream place on Bedford:

♪MP3: Things I Wish Paul Baribeau
♪MP3: Brown Brown Brown Paul Baribeau

They definitely upped the ante on their awesome music rep. And they have vegan treats and soy ice cream! Pennylicks, I love you. You're the only boyfriend I need.

2009-06-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

very few things in life excite me more than:

2009-06-07T17:19:00.000-07:00

1. falling in love with new music

2. finding the perfect shade of hot pink nail polish.

Day 3

2009-06-02T06:34:00.000-07:00

Thankfully I've had the past two days off from work, but now I have to work straight until Sunday and I still can't even remotely swallow. I still have a slight fever, though it's gone down, and it's also cold and raining. Motherfuck.

PS I realize I'm not reinventing the wheel here, but this song just hit me really hard, maybe because I haven't listened to it in a while. Either way, it is amazing.

2009-05-31T10:11:00.000-07:00

So aside from being COMPLETELYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY************************ BROKE, the past couple of days have been divine both weather-wise and company-wise. I've been happier and more excited than I've been in a long loooong time and now, of course, I'm home on this gorgeous day with a fever/sore throat/chills/migraine. I had really cute plans for today that I have to forgo and it's making me crazy. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm a vegan, I take vitamins every day, and I work out. WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DOES MY IMMUNE SYSTEM WANT FROM ME? I digress.
Anyway! While fickeling around on the internet in my fever-induced stupor, a little birdie told me that one of my playlists has been posted on viva-radio.com. It's 4 months after the fact, but ya'll can check it out at viva-radio.com/membersonly. It's the last playlist on the scroll down menu and they spelled my name wrong. Enjoy!
Also fuck everyone who's out enjoying this gorgeous weather while I'm in bed dying of swine flu.

2009-05-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

about to watch this:

"We get to fuck the prettiest boys, we get to smoke the best dope, you get to meet the most far-out people...it's magic."

2009-05-28T06:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Daze

2009-05-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

This weather has me so stoked. I was off from work again today (woo!) and woke up at 7:30 am again for some crazy reason. After sweating my fucking ass off at the gym, I came home, showered, and got ready to meet up with some peepz at McCarren Park.

Aren't my babies beautiful? This summer is gonna be fucking amayyyyzin'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2009-05-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to the two loves of my life:

2009-05-17T19:11:00.000-07:00

1. Whoever comes are the right people
2. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have
3. Whenever it starts is the right time
4. When it's over, it's over

ATTN: THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT

2009-05-12T22:08:00.001-07:00

thank you and have a great night.

2009-05-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

Good morning, Brooklyn.
Last night ended up being pretty awesome, despite the wardrobe-related bitch fit. Alex, Sarina, Catherine, Amanda and I wound up going to some loft party on Havemeyer and met some great people. I forgot how much I loved house parties vs. going to bars. Weirdly enough, we ended up seeing 4 completely different sets of friends, none who knew each other, who all happened across the same party. It was good vibes all around and after meeting 2 new total girlfriends from Canada, we headed over for a throwback night at Annex to see Dimitry (for his bday!) and Marlon. Dancing + speed + Pat Benetar is never a disappointing combination. We got home around 5 just in time to see the sun come up and passed the fuck out because we had to be up early for today's Mother's Day brunch con la mia famiglia. Which reminds me, Happy Mother's Day to all you hot momma's out there! In honor of today, I'm going to shamelessly promote my very dear friend, Victoria, and her new band "Mama Bear". Below are some new tracks to listen to/download/fall in love with, they damn near made me shed a "proud mom" tear when I first heard them. Enjoy! xx

♪MP3: You Look Good Wearing My Future - Mama Bear
♪MP3: You Make Me Feel Like Hips - Mama Bear

WARDROBE CRISIS

2009-05-09T20:59:00.001-07:00

will this or will this not land me a hot metal husband?

2009-05-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

Ready for things to get awesome. Let's start by getting the sun to come out again.

I love you Rob Kelley

2009-04-23T22:42:00.000-07:00

Rob: you just want him to go down on you with the headset on
Rob: and broadcast how much he's enjoying it
Rob: OH DAMN, THIS TASTES LIKE ICE CREAM

Things I Love

2009-04-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

1. ♪MP3:Sweet Pea - Tommy Roe

2.

3.

4.

2009-04-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

I have to do something with myself today. While the dreary cold New York weather is less than inspiring, I have to get out of my house, or at least stop listening/dancing to Tommy Roe's Greatest Hits album in my living room non-stop. I think I need to do some serious spring cleaning of the wardrobe variety. Most of the things I have I never actually wear, and I need to accept that the novelty of a vintage suede fringe beaded vest wears off after you wear it one time.

My room is a disaster right now and that probably reflects my mood. I feel a lot better about a LOT of things, my trip with Catherine has helped my anxiety in a variety of different ways, and I'm totally thankful for that. However, I have switched out my anxious feelings with just general feelings of being bummed. Again, maybe I should chalk it up to the weather, but I haven't been able to get excited about anything since being back in New York. I feel like there's perpetually something more exciting going on elsewhere that I'm constantly missing out on. On the bright side, my lack of interest in much of anything has caused me to lose 3 lbs. since being back? KEWL! Ughh this is turning into a huge pity party. I'm not this dramatic, I swear. I got two really essential Kelly Bundy-esque playsuits for the summer and I can't even appreciate them! SOMETHING IS S0o0o WRONG WITH ME !

I need coffee and a hug.

AWE-STIN

2009-04-13T19:57:00.000-07:00

Okay so I got back from Austin yesterday and being back in NY is already making me want to die. Catherine and I forgot to take a camera with us so we didn't get any pictures which suuuuuuucks but it was completely fucking amazing. 85 degrees and sunny almost every day we were there, awesome people, awesome vintage stores, awesome everything. I wish I was back I miss it already! :( I'll update more when I'm not so depressed.

2009-03-18T16:17:00.000-07:00

So here's a cute song by a cute band for alla ya'll to fall in love with:
Violent Sensation Descends - Violens

The clarity of their sweet melodic sound is undoubtedly reminiscent of The Shins (circa "Chutes Too Narrow"). If you're in Austin for SXSW, check them out this Saturday.. they'll be at Club Deville for the Viva-Radio showcase. Speaking of Austin, Catherine and I are going April 8th-12th for her spring break! I'm super stoked/already shitting my pants about having to be on a plane. I'll just sedate myself with tranquilizers and sleep through the whole thing. She'll have to "weekend at Bernie's" me through the whole process while I'm unconscious ... that's the plan. Weee!

Rock&Roll Circus

2009-02-24T18:57:00.001-08:00

So last night Sarina and I hung out with our downstairs neighbors, got stoned, and watched Rock & Roll Circus.
What I've gathered is the following: the clip blow captured what has to be the most essential 7 minutes and 49 seconds in music history:

FUCK.

WIN

2009-02-22T17:28:00.001-08:00

So I finally have internet .. I can actually check my email without sitting in the stairwell and praying that my neighbors don't open the door to see my flannel-clad ass lurking in the dark. Other than that, nothing and everything is new. I feel weird, happy but depressed? Or maybe it's vise-versa. Or maybe it's just this shiteous weather we've been having. Anyway, add those weird feelings to the fact that I don't have heat on any given night, and there's the answer to why I haven't had a full nights sleep in four days. I kind of feel high all the time now due to extreme exhaustion, but whatever. Last week was fucking awesome though. Some friends from Austin came to visit and we did a bunch of really awesome stuff. I went to some galleries in Chelsea and became obsessed with this:

Other new or renewed obsessions include: chai lattes, Dirty Dancing, and making care packages (which I've been planning out for someone really awesome and cute for his upcoming birthday)

In other OTHER news, Catherine and I are planning to visit Austin in April (ETA: 4/20...fingers crossed) and I've never been so I'm pretty stoked. I'll update more if anything major happens to me. Or once I stop feeling weird.

XOXO GOSSIP GIRL

2009-02-06T06:50:00.000-08:00

To commemorate this past week being the 50 year death anniversary of Ritchie Valens, Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper, here is a song I've been listening to on repeat for a week and a half:

That's My Little Suzie (demo) - Ritchie Valens

2009-01-28T06:55:00.001-08:00

There's little to no internet in my apartment so it may be difficult to update. We're going to get it straightened out next week, but for right now our very babeish and sweet neighbor Josh is sharing a network with us so here are some photos of my new room!

2009-01-23T12:45:00.001-08:00

This has been quite a week to say the least. It all started on Sunday (my usual day off) when I get woken up out of bed by an urgent call from one of my employees saying that the basement is flooded. After throwing water on my face, brushing my teeth, and FALLING into a flannel shirt (dirty hair and no makeup. I'm not trying to be ~*CuTe & EfFoRtLeSs*~ ..I'm pretty sure I forgot deodorant as well) $40 and an hour of traffic on the BQE later, I get to my store and am met with a dank, filthy stockroom covered in about 2 inches of water all around. No one from maintenance could be reached that day (<3) and so it was up to me and two of my stock boys to shovel filthy SARS water into the sump pump of the basement. Apparently a pipe burst somewhere on our block but seeing as Con Ed was fucking useless (shock me) we were down there for twelve hours pulling some serious hurricane katrina disaster relief shit. On the bright side, we managed to save each of the $7000 mannequins and most of our inventory. It's not a big deal, it's just what I do. I spent the rest of the week in a daze due to lack of sleep, hung out with some interesting (?) people, and now I'm home sick. I have to get my SHIT RIGHT for love shack '09 this weekend and pack the rest of my stuff up today. I got my beautiful vintage French-style princess telephone in the mail from eBay yesterday and I'm absolutely jizzing over it. I also have a fever and I'm starving. ALSO I have a huge crush on an unattainable boy. WAH WAH WAH my life is so0o0o0o hard.

you're welcome.

2009-01-10T07:31:00.000-08:00

Dear Williamsburg,

E.T.A = January 25th

Love,

Sarina & Francesca

PS: I just dropped MAD BILL$Z on my bedding. Memory foam & Egyptian cotton..ow ow.

The times they are a changin'

2009-01-08T11:32:00.000-08:00

So on my day off from work today I sit in the middle of my room with every single article of clothing I've ever owned going through them and putting them in huge garbage bags labeled "donate", "throw out", "need but don't bring", and "LAUNDRY!!!!!!". I've been here for three hours and not even adderall can help me through this insurmountable task... sweet god, next time I complain about not having anything to wear I give everyone full permission to slap the shit out of me.

As daunting as this whole thing is, once I do it I get way into it. It's the same instant gratification I get from vacuuming and dusting. Out with the old and in with the new ... too bad I'm sneezing non-stop from relinquishing 20 years of hidden dust. If all goes according to plan, by the last week of January or February 1st (whichever the landlord agrees to) we will be in our beautiful little 2 bedroom apartment on Manhattan avenue. Say what you will, but my sister and I have loved Williamsburg since we stepped foot in it, back when apartments on Bedford were affordable for unemployed kids who were fresh out of college. Thank god for the recession, right? naywayz, I will be updating all of the apartment progress but needless to say my sister and I are ecstatic right now. It's right in the heart of everything, literally walking distance from all of our usual hang out spots. Plus Jeff lives about five blocks away so naturally that means I'll be seeing him 24/sev.

And thanks to my good friend SPEED, my mind is making clear, concise decisions and I'm making power plays to clean, organize, and pack my entire life up in 8 oversized American Apparel boxes. I'm making lists and everything, TRY AND FUCKING STOP ME!

2009 is looking good already.

Christmas Lust

2008-12-21T10:09:00.002-08:00

I fucking love making themed playlists but I never made it over to the Viva-Radio studio to drop this baby off. Maybe if I have time this week I'll get to it. If not, here it is for ya'll to enjoy. I made it a point NOT to include "All I Want For Christmas Is You" ... so here it is:

♪MP3: Santa Claus - The Sonics

♪MP3: Naughty Naughty Christmas - Danger Danger

♪MP3: Christmas Time Again - Lynyrd Skynyrd

♪MP3: Feels Like Christmas - Cyndi Lauper

♪MP3: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - The Ronettes

♪MP3: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - The Jackson 5

♪MP3: Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses

♪MP3: Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight) - The Ramones

♪MP3: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

♪MP3: Little Saint Nick - The Beach Boys

♪MP3: Come On Santa - The Raveonettes

Happy Holidaysxx

you've got to be the cutest gravedigger I've ever seen

2008-12-09T09:56:00.001-08:00

I totally forgot how much I love Alkaline Trio. Say what you will, but "Maybe I'll Catch Fire" was the quintessential "coming of age"/realizing being a guidette was skanky and WHACK soundtrack of my High School Years. It was listening to this album that made me want MORE out of life than my job at the tanning salon and sparked my interest in shiteous Long Island scene boyz. It was an epiphany of sorts - kind of like that scene in Clueless when Cher realizes she's really in love with Josh. Divine, really. Whenever I think back to the days of yore, spent with Catherine riding the LIRR to various house parties and studio parties, this entire album plays in my mind. "Fuck You Aurora", in particular, holds a special place in my heart as it was playing when I made out with my very first tattooed drummer scumbag probably rife with hepatitis A-C, whom I was absolutely smitten with of course. I remember running home and putting the song on my iPod which back then was a fucking novelty, and secretly listening to it in homeroom when I was supposed to be saying MORNING PRAYERS. Instead I'd be writing the lyrics in my American Civilization notebook and detesting the mere fact that I was stuck at some cunty Catholic School instead of out at some show in New Jersey with my best friend. Those were truly the glory days.

Add this to my list of "top 10 romantic ideals of all time"

2008-11-16T11:05:00.000-08:00

It's funny how one song can revive such a specific set of emotions. The opening chords of "Like A Hurricane" by Neil Young doesn't bring me back to a particular time, but rather a stream of emotions and desires that will always resurface whenever I hear it. His archetypal loner-cowboy/hopeless romantic persona is best showed through this particular song, I think. Bringing people (or maybe just me) to a point in life that they didn't necessarily physically experience, but can relate to emotionally; that agonizing feeling of searching for something that's almost impossible to find, and even harder to posses. This one particular song made me fall in love with Neil Young and the whole southwest hippy lowlife image that he portrays for himself. It takes me directly to 1974 California, a revolutionary time for music that I wish more than anything I could have been a part of. Keep on truckin' Neil, I love you forever.

Enjoy. xx

All I want

2008-11-11T13:50:00.000-08:00

Is a guy like John Cusack in "High Fidelity". Someone who's entire apartment is filled wall-to-wall with amazing records and wreaks of stale cigarettes. A sarcastic elitist asshole who makes top 5 lists for everything and will never admit that he loves me. WHERE ARE YOU? I need someone to make me an emotional cripple with one short lived but life-changing whirlwind romance.

Joey Ramone saved my life

2008-07-07T18:10:00.000-07:00

So today on my day off, I decide to get my broke ass tires replaced on Joey Ramone (my bike) and $66 dollars later, I have new tires, new tubes, a free tune up, a discounted bike lock and a free water bottle. It's in tip top condition and rides like a fucking dream when I leave the store so I start riding it home until I get to the service road and have to cross the street onto the other side of the bike path. No big deal, I've done it roughly 7000000 times, right? So I start to slow my pace because I see some douchebag in a black Benz encroaching up over the pedestrian line so I yell to make sure he sees me. He sees me, stops (his light is red, mine is green) so I start up my momentum when he out of nowhere decides to start moving again, running the light, and causing me to slam face first into the hood of his car. My bike took most of the blow causing my handlebars to dislocate and become totally misaligned but not until after they were jammed into my chest at full speed. I was holding my face to assess the situation (i.e. make sure my nose wasn't broken and that none of my teeth were missing) and the asshole got out of his car, not to help me up, but rather to get my bike out of his way in the street and then promptly get back into his car and speeds off before I can get any of his information. I managed to bike the rest of the way home even though I was super dizzy and my handlebars were crooked, but the second I got home my father rushes me to the ER. 2 hours, 2 blood tests, and an ECG later, nothing is wrong with my heart (thankfully) but my sternum was fractured from the impact. Other than that, I'm okay except for a whole lot of cuts and bruises on my face/body.

Anyway, the point of this story is the following:

1.) Be fucking careful on your bike because people are shitty scumbag assholes

2.) After realizing that my bike took most of the damage, thus saving MY FACE a lot of damage, I realized that my bike pretty much saved me. My point is only further proven when I find that my doctors name is Jeffrey Hyman (aka the real name of Joey Ramone, obviously) who also made sure I didn't die. That being said, I'm 100% serious in believing that Joey, knowing me deep and undying love for him, was watching over me today and for that I am getting a commemorative tattoo in his honor.

I LOVE YOU, MAN.

J. Geils Band had it right

2008-07-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

How do I say this without sounding too abrasive? Well to begin with, let's preface this by saying that every single guy I've been involved with over the past, oh, I'd say about 12 months?, has been completely fucking psychotic. That being said, clearly I am in no way, shape, or form looking for a relationship. So why, I ask, is it so fucking hard to find someone who's normal (i.e. NOT crazy) and wants to spend some time watching "Freaks and Geeks", maybe smoking, perhaps making out and be totally unofficial but on a semi-constant basis? I'm not talking text messaging every day, I'm not talking changed status on ~*MySpAcE*~ ... I'm talking about straight up HANGING OUT, not being sketchy, and perhaps bringing it back to '01 and dry humping on your couch.

I'm a levelheaded person. I know when to say when. I know that calling a guy 3 times in a row is a no-no. I know that pet names are obnoxious on the verge of nauseating. I know I deserve more than being a glorified booty call, but Christ. The pickin's are slim so, yes, sometimes we have to make a few altercations to our usual high set standards. But what I'd like to know is when guys in New York City turned into such fucking pussies. Either you're shitting your pants that we didn't answer 1 of your 107 text messages or you're freaking out because you think that we're going to get the wrong idea about a situation, and in turn, end up freaking out yourself. Nobody's talking about marriage here ... and until there is an official "TALK", no assumptions are made. Man up for fucks sake. Either you're on the bus or you're off the bus.

It's summer and we're all just trying to get our kicks, KNOWWHATI'MSAYIN'?