"This gem scooped me up at the local bookstore, wooing me with his nerdy charm. We ended up dating for 8 months, during which he would routinely try to convince me to dye my hair red, wear more eyeliner, and tape me going down on his girl friends. When I thought I was pregnant, he told me he couldn’t help pay for an abortion because he had to buy a new web cam for art schoo, a good 7 months away. When I finally dumped him, he cried and locked me in his basement. I ended up crawling out the window, walking home and never speaking to him again. I later heard he dropped out of his beloved art school after 3 weeks and still lives in his parents basement, reeking of white castle."